BROKEN FAIRY WINGS

Broken Fairy Wings
There once was a fairy who was fragile and delicate with a beauty beyond words but few were gentle enough to hold or caress her. She was trusting and graced those unworthy souls with the magic of her presence. Something was felt as her wings brushed gently by their shoulders but they were oblivious to where the sweet sensation came from. They longed for her presence but once adorned by it they quickly abused it and were far too harsh for her gentle whispering wings. Try as she might she could not change their souls and yet as if sent on an angelic mission she did not, could not easily flutter by and leave their sickening stench behind. Instead she was once again caught up in another of their moments of demonic fury and suddenly amidst the drama, taken quite by surprise found herself sadly hurled to the floor in a near fatal state with her wings no longer attached and affixed on her back. They were fearfully laying in horrid disarray beside her. In her desire to bless she was destroyed. What was the point of the mission. What was accomplished? Will she ever know? She groans in despair. Is their any hope left? Will her creator be able to reattach her wings and make her whole again or is she doomed to failure?
TO BE CONTINUED:

Time

My dear mother has been on my heart a lot. I want to spend more time with her but my visits are often rushed. So much of my time is filled with meaningless hustle and bustle while loved ones around me are taken for granted. Why do we work so hard and put so much into making “an income” rather than making a life? There is an end to life but for some reason even at my age I find it hard to believe. I must remind myself that reality says my days are numbered. None of us are given the promise of even one more day. Time is wasting.

I remember a childhood story. I believe it was called “No Time.” It was the story of a little boy who had a love worn teddy bear. He asked his mother to sew it up where it had begun to come apart. The mother told him she’d do it later, she didn’t have time right now. He’d go away and come back again and again repeating his request and every time his mother had the excuse she was just too busy. One day while she was scurrying through her work she heard the horrendous screech of brakes out on the street in front of their house. Her heart dropped. She ran to the window and saw the lifeless body of her little boy being pulled from under the car. Now alone and in grief she held the child’s ragged teddy bear to her chest and cried, “I sewed your teddy bear up with nice even stitches.” “I now have all the time in the world.” But it was too late. Time was gone. Time was buried with her child.

Looking back I realize even the days of my childhood were numbered. And the days of that life flew much too quickly by. I feel I will lose the child heart I still hold onto when alas my dear mother goes away. The little girl inside of me will be laid to rest, for as long as my mother remains a constant I can remain a child.

Yes life is a valuable gift. When will we come to realize it? What will we have to lose to slow down and find TIME. When will we appreciate the family we’ve been given? When will we realize that they are every bit as good as the next one? When will love be important enough to cherish the moment?

Truly I’m not criticizing the worker just the ability to find the proper balance. I hate to see the lazy who suck off of the diligent but I also hate to see the overachiever who has forgotten to love and live. I am by no means calling myself an overachiever but somehow I am feeling spread thin. Everyday I find life whizzing by because of the enormous amount of constant to dos. Family is often times a strained word and rather than taking our lives seriously knowing we are but dust in the wind, here today gone tomorrow, we bicker and bite.

I admire my dogs. They are creatures seemingly beneath us but they offer a great lesson to be learned. They love without reservation and for them, there is always time to love. I am so grateful my Mother has been found by her wonderful dog. Yes, good ole’ “Boy” as she has chosen to call him. He has taken the the roll of companionship to an old lady. He grows fat from lack of exercise but he was given a mission and he fulfills it well. Tomorrow I will bring him a new bag of food and treats. I’ll bring a smile to my mother’s face as I toss his toy and take a moment away from my time with her to play with him. Ah but it’s not a moment from her because she enjoys the game as much as her furry friend. He is her heart and he is my heart extended to her. He is the time I can’t find. It is certainly a comfort but not enough for again I find myself wiping yet another tear of regret. The winter again is upon us. Another year is soon to pass. Tomorrow I will look for more time.

Empty Nest

One of the greatest times in my life was the days I spent raising my children. Oh how I loved being a mother. I would have never imagined time would run out and I would again be alone. I thought those days were mine for eternity. I never imagined an end to life as I had grown to know it. I had always planned and looked forward to the day when I would have children but never took it further than that. There was never a thought of life after children. I was naïve and foolish. I took for granted all that I had and never realized the depth of their departure from my life. Although, my life was left enriched by the very existence of their lives as well as the blessing of grandchildren now added to my world as a result, I still found myself alone again on a daily basis. I had a new caring partner but no children and no pets and although I enjoyed the company of my new husband, he just couldn’t fill the “Need to be a Mother” void. I finally decided this fate could not continue and something had to be done to fill that vacancy.
One day in my despair, I chose to take in and mother a new little puppy. Although I coaxed for him using my upcoming birthday as an excuse for this perfect gift, the month wait was entirely to long. So Buca, a beautiful little Yorkshire terrier, came to live with me in October 2002.

I was elated and totally fulfilled but eventually felt Buca needed a companion since he was left alone a lot while I was working full time. Even though Greg would get home from his job midday to early afternoon, I still felt Buca had too many long hours alone and seemed to mind being left behind each day. My plea to Greg for a new little puppy included the rationale that we’d get the opposite sex and breed them. He could make money while I enjoyed the love and companionship they provided me and each other. He conceded and in no time we added our new little Yorkie girl, Marnier (Maun’ yea).

I’ve never spent a moment regretting their entrance into my life. They did fill a huge void and I love them dearly.

My only regret is the one and only time I bred them.

It’s not all bad, though, since Amy, Jason and the kids got a precious pup out of it and he’s a happy, well-behaved and wonderful dog. I think he has passed the love on and enriched their lives even though they already have fullness of love to the max. But in spite of all that, it was an incredibly difficult experience to part with three adorable babies. I vowed to NEVER do it again. No amount of money could put me through that agony another time. Life has been good with my two little chumps and although I’ve said that some day down the road when the time came, I would like to adopt a rescue Yorkie, I never expected it would be this soon or while the other two were alive and well. But lo and behold, the opportunity came knocking. The need was there and my heart was overwhelmed with excitement and plenty of love for another so last month little Tia Maria came to live with us. She’s got a super personality and I love her dearly. She was found in Florida, 30 miles from the nearest home, covered in mud standing on a levy in the middle of a swamp with crocodiles lurking not too far in the distance. Her bones were covered in nothing more than skin. She was only days away from certain death. It’s quite apparent that she had previously been housed in a kennel. It was clearly evident by the tell tale signs of her constant spinning in circles, her fear of grass or anything soft under her feet and no idea of where to potty. Wherever she is when the need arises seems just fine to her. Also the vet said her teeth are in such bad shape that he was unable to give an educated guess at her age. He said her teeth appear to be worn and damaged by constant gnawing on metal. Again, just another sign of being kennel kept. I have decided she must be less than 2 years since she still likes to chew everything. Now that she is getting healthier and building up muscle tone she is much more active and constantly playing. Unable at first to go up or down steps, jump on or off furniture and barely walk she has now conquered the steps and is able to jump down from most places. Her legs have filled out to match the size of her paws and she has gained 6 lbs which is a tremendous amount for a Yorkie considering some only weigh a full 6 lbs as healthy full grown adults. She is the body size of Marnier but already weighing in at 1 lb heavier. Welcome Tia Maria.

With a full house now consisting of, husband Greg, yorkies Buca, Marnier and Tia Maria and our beautiful cat Kaluha, my nest is no longer empty.

The Beginning

My life as a blogger has just begun. It's a road I'm anxious to travel. See you soon.